Friday, August 13, 2010

Perspective can be powerful in the defining of our experiences...

Isn't it funny, how we define our relationships with others, isn't always how they define their relationships with us? Why is that the person that you choose to stand up for you at your wedding, isn't necessarily the person who chooses you. Why is it my best friend, may have someone else they consider their best friend. Why is it, I may consider someone just a work friend, and they may see me as a really good friend. How can all these relationships be defined by the individual and not by the relationship?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The hard road...

God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

I have always been proud that no matter what, I have always taken the hard road if I thought it was the better option. I never wimped out, I never backed down, I never took the easy way out. Yet lately I have started to question those choices. I have felt tired, burnt out and ready for a few easy roads to travel. There are moments when I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and I really question taking the hard road...but in the end, I am grateful. For while there have been challenges, I feel stronger, and I am pleased with what we have accomplished. Perhaps the work is harder, but the rewards are greater. I have been tested and found in my self more than I knew was there. Recently, I started to take a boot camp exercise class. It is the first fitness I have endeavoured to take in a long time. My muscles are achy and sore and I don't know how I am going to go again tomorrow, but I feel like this class is a metaphor for my life. While I am uncomfortable now, and the thought of getting up in the morning and going to class again is more "Awwww," than "Yipee;" I feel that my life has prepared me for this moment. I can sacrifice momentary comfort, momentary ease, for long term gain. I am hoping to be able to report to all of you, that I am a lean, mean, fighting machine in a few months.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sorrow in My Thoughts

I have watched the news over these last few weeks with a heavy heart. I don't know how people can kill children let alone their own. Divorce can be messy and ugly, and very painful, but that doesn't mean you drown your kids in a bath tub and then throw yourself off a bridge. By the way, she lived and the children died. They were 2 1/2 years and 10 months old. Their father is devastated.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Life is Busy...

Well, I am trying to schedule appointments this week, and finding my days all booked up. I have had several people suggest that I cut back on my activities, or more specifically my kid's activities. The truth is we are having fun. Well...more the kids are having fun. I feel good about the things that we are busy doing, and I think it is helping the kids become their best selves, which, I think is my job. So what if my house isn't as clean as I would like it to be, or home renos aren't happening as quickly as I would like. Whoever looks back on their life and wishes that they had dusted more often, or had a few more months with those new windows. But I hope I will remember, and more importantly, that my son will remember what it felt like when I watched his cheer performance last weekend and was just so filled with pride I could have cried. To all those people who say that I am too busy, I say, "Life is busy!"

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Too little, too late!

Why does help always seem late and not sufficient? I sat and spoke with my daughter's pediatrician today. He indicated that he would make a referral for her, but that she would likely not get help for at least 6 months, when she is likely to have made significant decline. He also admitted that even with the referral, she would likely not recieve highly effective intervention. I have to say that this is the third such conversation that I had with a professional, or system, this week. Her school indicated that it would likely be a minimum of 12 weeks before they could assess her, and next year before she got any help. Everyone is sorry, but resigned to accept this too little, too late approach to helping children and families. What do you do when you don't know what to do and no one can help you...much.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Young Men Go Off To War...

From the book by Mitch Albom, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." An excerpt:

"Young men go to war. Sometimes because they have to, sometimes because they want to. Always, they feel they are supposed to. This comes from sad, layered stories of life, which over the centuries have seen courage confused with picking up arms, and cowardice confused with laying them down."

While the days dance on dimes
To reflect the changing of the times
The poets give the score
But no one listens to the rhymes

In the bloody march of war
So many reasons they give for
The massacre of the young
And the starving of the poor

When the high pursuits of man
Seem to be like shifting sand
When the only goal in sight
Is to fire on demand.

Its only when we find God's word
And his voice is finally heard
Maybe then we can make sense
Of all the lines that we have blurred.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Politics of the Tantrum and the Hissy Fit

This was a post I read on someone else's blog, but I enjoyed it, and thus have included it here.

From the book by Jonah Goldberg, "Liberal Fascism." An excerpt:

"The exaltation of passion over reason, action over deliberation, is a naturally youthful impulse. Treating young people as equals, 'privileging' their opinions precisely because they lack experience and knowledge, is an inherently fascist tendency, because at it's heart lies the urge to throw off 'old ways' and 'old dogmas' in favor of what the Nazis called the 'idealism of the deed.' Youth politics--like populism generally--is the politics of the tantrum and the hissy fit."

Friday, January 15, 2010

I love my husband…

I mentioned to him my incredulity for a friend, who recently had a baby, and had no family that would come to visit her in the hospital following an emergency c-section. Their explanation, she simply chose a hospital too far away from their house. Had she chosen one closer, they would have made the trip, but because she chose one halfway across town, they would wait until she went home to see the baby. I began explaining to my husband that I thought this was wrong, that as my sister had recently given birth as well, if she had given birth in the hospital completely on the other side of town, I would still have made the trip to see her and the baby. He interrupted and said, “If she had given birth in Calgary we still would have driven down to see her and the baby. There are just certain things in life that for family and close friends, you just show up for. You change your plans, you drive out of your way, you make sacrifices, and you just show up. There should be no question, and while we may get something out of the experience, you show up to support the person whose moment it is.” At that moment, I just couldn’t have loved him anymore. I loved him because he felt that way. I loved him because he so completely understood how I felt. After all these years no one can finish my sentences with his degree of accuracy, no one can understand my thoughts so absolutely or more fully agree with their sentiments, than the person I have shared my life with these dozen or more years. If luck is for the Irish, then I am very fortunate indeed.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Birthday Wishes...

As often happens at this time of year, people begin to ask what I want for my birthday. I am fortunate enough that I live in comfort and am content with the material life I lead. I am a simple girl with simple pleasures, mostly edible or related to warmth. A fire in the fireplace, steaming hot chocolate in a ceramic mug or a long, hot, bubble bath is all it takes to make me feel pampered. The one thing I do treasure above all else is my family, and the time that I get to spend with them. So what would I ask for if I could have anything I wanted; time.

So you may be wondering at this point, "but how can one person give another person time, wrapped up as a gift?" As many people know, my son, Nicholas has a bleeding disorder. He is a sweet, precious, cherub like boy who exudes innocence and goodness much like light radiates from a an incandescent light bulb. While many mothers may say this about their children, I have the great honour and privilege of parenting a little boy who other people say this about.

When he bleeds it can be both scary and stressful and sometimes receiving blood or blood products is part of his treatment plan. While we are eternally and immeasurably grateful to the kind folks at the Children’s Hospital for all that they have done for Nick, the truth is what has literally saved his life is the small sacrifice of ordinary, random citizens, who donated blood.

So at this time of year, when I take a moment to think about what is important to me, and what gift would be most treasured, and at the risk of sounding cheesy, its ‘the gift of life.’ And so what I ask all of my friends and family to do, at least once a year, is to donate blood. If we all donated blood, just once a year, it is a gift not just for me, or for the sweetest boy in the whole wide world, but for someone else’s son or daughter, father or mother…many other people's loved ones may also get the most precious gift of more time.